The War on Christmas strikes back

All right, before I get started, let’s get one thing over with: Yes, Mum, You Were Right. Okay? Now let’s get on with it.

There a new war on Christmas going on. This time, it’s against moths. Or more specifically, the Flying Legions of Hell with all of the nastiness and absolutely none of the class.

Of course I’ve only realised this about half an hour ago, just as I was about to go to bed. I had just taken out my stash of yarn after noticing suspicious-looking chewed bits in a random ball, and I thought I would deal with it in the morning. Seeing what it looked like up close quickly changed my mind. This absolutely couldn’t wait.

There are eggs everywhere, and I mean, absolutely everywhere. My stash of yarn looks like a statue in a public square that would have been attacked by a very vicious flock of pigeons, if pigeons not only crapped everywhere but also chewed holes in public buildings. And also laid thousands of tiny eggs. All right, maybe the comparison isn’t really to the point, but I don’t care because it’s late, I’m tired, I’m going to spend all of tomorrow baking my stash of yarn instead of moving on with my knitted Christmas gifts as planned, I’m completely aware that none of this presents any degree of gravity at all but it still warrants a good rant. I hate moths. And now there are hundreds of tiny little ones that apparently hate me too and I’m sure give me hundreds of tiny fingers from inside my balls of yarn. I’m not happy about this. It sucks.

The good news is, the infestation seems to be a recent thing. I took my stash out for inspection a couple of months ago and I didn’t notice any damage. The bad news is, recent or not, these beasts are voracious. And they do not give a single fuck about lavender. Natural repellent my arse.

This is also a good time to lay an interesting myth to rest: that moths prefer their textiles a little dirty, or with lanolin. My yarn had never been used and was completely clean, and some balls still show ugly bite marks. Also, balls of alpaca suffered as much as sheep wool. So far, in fact, I don’t really have a solid explanation for what they chose to eat. It appears that some yarns suffered more damage than others, but I don’t have any coherent hypothesis as to what type. Aside, of course, from the fact that moths suck and I hate them.

There’s also the matter of the wisker basket I was using to store my stash. It’s a lovely basket and I’m very fond of it, but wicker has a lot of nooks and crannies for moths to hide in. I’ve started cleaning the whole thing with white vinegar while waiting to the most infested part of my stash to heat up in the warm oven, but I suspect I’ll have to do something messy like finish in the shower. I should probably figure out a way to line the basket with something that won’t let the beasties get into the wicker if they do come back. I hope they won’t. I’m going to have a lot of knitting to do this year, with a ban on yarn shopping until I’ve sorted through this mess.

I suppose I’ll have to wait and see if the oven manages to kill the Legions of Hell. In the meanwhile, I’m off to run the rest of my stash under a hot iron in case that can achieve something. I’ll sleep later. Night, everyone.


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