Still very much winter around here and I’m starting to freak out.
Not because I don’t like it. I’ve actually adjusted to the cold far better than I thought I would. I still like the way the snow looks, and there’s that huge waterfall at the end of the city which is entirely iced oved and makes sprouts and stalagmites of ice that look convoluted like malachite, and there are transparent ice stalactites hanging from every roof and it’s all perfectly lovely. There’s only one problem. It’s April.
Much as I enjoy the Canadian winter, this is just not normal. Or maybe it is. My brain has grasped that part about different longitudes and the Gulf Stream and the Mediterranean and how in the end those temperatures make sense in a way, but my body is still bewildered. And now the weather forecast is saying that ‘It’s definitely getting warmer!’ and it’s minus two. Minus bloody two in the morning on April 2nd, you read that right. The coldest of the cold winter is ever supposed to get in the dead of January as far as I’m concerned, and now it’s April and we’ve even passed the equinox, and… all right. I am freaking out. Admittedly, freaking out is something that defines much of my life at the moment, what with not knowing whether I’ll get to live in the same country as my boyfriend next year and all, but then I’m not getting an answer on that one until June, so there’s nothing to do about it. But spring. I want spring. We’ve all earned it by now. Haven’t we?
I suppose I might get used to it after a few years. I just don’t feel like trying, for the same reason I didn’t stay in Cardiff even though I loved it to pieces: too much rain and early nightfall in winter will ruin the best city in the world, as far as I’m concerned. Or maybe I’m just a wimp. Maybe you can get used to anything as long as you haven’t left your boyfriend six time zones away and the most contact you get is when you can squeeze in a few minutes on Skype at work before he has to go to bed. Maybe I should get a bonsai pine in a little pot, and a rosemary plant, and smell them every now and then to fool my brain into thinking it’s all right. Maybe I should buy those fresh strawberries and overpriced figs even if they come from half a world away and I couldn’t fool myself into thinking I still behave responsibly when it comes to the environment.
And maybe that’s more than enough self-pity for a day. Back to work.