Words of faux-Scottish wisdom

I eventually came around to watching Disney’s Brave at some point, in a plane to America. I found it predictable and not nearly as revolutionary as advertised (next time someone tries to do a movie on rebellious girls, it would be nice if they didn’t imply that women’s oppression is all the fault of uptight other women and men have nothing to do with it, thanks), but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Hey, it had archery, and witches, and bears. Can’t complain.

It had haggis, too, of course, being set in Scotland and all–and being a comedy of course, because haggis has apparently been invented to make people laugh. At some point, the naughty triplet brothers of the heroin are served something that looks like a boiled old shoe, and told to eat it, and they make faces and run away to get cake instead, because… well, I suppose because it’s haggis, and haggis is gross because come on, stuffed sheep’s stomach and all that, and I suppose Sottish mothers keep forcing it on their children because… er, some reason, anyway. To make people laugh, probably. You never know why those silly foreign people eat all that strange stuff (I don’t suppose it matters much to Hollywood producers that at least to some members of their audiences, that ‘strange stuff’ isn’t ‘strange’ or even ‘foreign’ at all…).

To be fair, I still can’t understand what the whole fuss is about haggis. First, it’s delicious. It’s rich and spicy, and you’d think it would be basic respect to an animal to eat all parts of it once you’ve killed it, instead of discarding some as ‘gross’. Second, I can’t fathom how stuffed sheep’s stomach can be intrinsically more disgusting than stuffed pork intestines, aka. The Common Sausage. Third, you’d think people who eat hot dogs, Frankfurt sausages, Strasbourg sausages and other unrecognisable messes of tendons and bones wouldn’t have too many qualms about smuggling dubious animal parts in people’s plates. I say people who have nothing to hide don’t grind their meat so fine.

Speaking of which, any recipe to make a decent haggis is welcome. And have a nice Friday!


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